I was going to give you a message from the twins today, but I don't feel like getting off my ass and figuring out which one is which, so you'll just have to survive without them.
So I'm thinking of running an online RPG. Not like a MUSH or MOO or MUD or any of those M-word RPGs. More like an interactive story. And everyone can participate, cause I like people.
And oh god, Dennis Rodman has his own website. Like he needs more media exposure. You know who needs more media exposure? Me. There should be television shows and movies of the week and even news stories about how cool I am, and how much I need something to keep me from being constantly bored.
Cause I'm so bored now. I mean, I'm trying to watch tv, but there's nothing on, except classical music, which would be okay, if I wanted to listen to music. But if I wanted to listen to classical music, I have classical music. And frankly, I want to here the Bumblebee. I like that one. I don't think I want to hear this. Maybe if they played Sequioa, but I haven't heard that in a good long time.
What does good long time mean? Are some long times better than others? I mean, I suppose a long session of sex is better than a long session of traffic school, so I guess that answers my question.
So, what I'm wondering is, which would be funnier? Watching someone being attacked by ferrets, or watching someone being attacked by gerbils? Cause, gerbils are cuter, but ferrets are long and silky. Plus the have better teeth for it. Although, it'd just be hilarious hearing someone scream, "HELP, HELP, GET THE GERBILS OFF ME! HELP, GERBILS! GERBILS!"
So you see, it doesn't really matter if you shatter all your teeth, cause they don't grow back. So you might as well learn to live with it, cause talking bleach is probably illegal somehow.
But I'm happy that...wait, no I'm not. I'm so bored, bored, bored, bored, did you notice how I'm kinda bored? So I'm not happy. I have nothing to do, nothing I want to do, and nothing interesting is going to happen anytime...well ever, so I'm so bored.
And I don't know what I'm watching. And it isn't enough, cause I bet it'll be boring. And I have to change most of everything. Which is why I don't go anywhere, cause I don't know where I am, and if I leave, I'll never be here. So I kinda sit around, and wonder if I'm even talking. I mean, I think I am, but I haven't really been paying attention. So sometimes, I actually see women's breasts. I mean, most guys, they notice a woman's breasts right off. Not me, I rarely notice them at all, cause I'm ususally too busy talking. Maybe I shouldn't talk anymore. Maybe, if I did the silent thing, people would leave me alone more. Which would mean life would be less of a hassle, but I'd still be just as bored.
So I think that entire last paragraph was worthless. But I'm not going to erase it, cause that would take more effort than just ignoring it. Oblivion is cool. Some people are completely oblivious to all sorts of things, and why is Oddball wondering around the apartment? What is he searching for? I'm so confused, and bored. So very, very bored.
So I think what I'm getting at is how bored I am. And I think I hear things, and it would be nice if I were going crazy. Cause I've been crazy for so long, and it'd be nice if there were some sort of time I could pinpoint when it happened.
So, the way it happens is, each person just writes what happens, and other people respond with what happens, and it's kinda like writing, and it's kinda like role-playing, and it's all sorts of fun, and doesn't require all that weird timing stuff.
And some commericals are just so stupid. Not the new Nike commericals, they're cool. Although, I think, if you run into a gladiator, you're living in the wrong neighborhood.
So I just...um...I don't even want to think about what I just thought about. This is never happening again.
I don't mean the rambling, or the thinking. In fact, I'm relatively sure when I said this is never happening again, I wasn't actually referring to anything. I was....
Well, that was lound and unexpected. That's ICQ for you. Which is so much better than YIM or AIM. I used to have both, used to use both. But I don't now. Know why? Cause I kept getting hit on by 16 year old girls. Now, I'm only 22, so I woulldn't normally object to being hit on by 16 year old girls, excpet these were the most uninteresting girls I've ever had the displeasure to encounter. These are not people I would ever consider.
And okay, so I have been randomly messaged by one 16 year old girl while I've had ICQ. But all the other people who have randomly messaged me have been interesting, like the Central American guy who's interested in Linux and C programming. And Perl. We discussed Perl some. He's cool, see.
Go the fuck away caz. Shut up. I'm typing.
So anyway, this is the way things happen. I mean, okay, this movie might not be so bad. And I'll probably stay up all night just so I can make it to class. Or maybe I'll go to sleep. Or maybe I'll read my book.
I mean, it's a great book, but it bores me, cause everything bores me nowadays. So I sit here, bored out of my mind, cause the world sucks.
Did I mention that my standards keep getting increasingly high as time passes. It's getting harder and harder for me to care about anything. And I think I promised caz I'd stop trying to kill him. Not that I tried to kill him more than a few times, mostly I just threatened him. So I think what I promised was not to threaten to kill him anymore. I do it all the time out of force of habit. Don't know why I did it the first time, maybe he was getting on my nerves. But there goes one of my outlets for whatever it is I need an outlet for.
Not frustration. I got rid of all my frustration sometime last May. Specifically, the source of my frustration went away, so, no frustration. And oh, god, I hate this commerical.
Sorry, I just wanted to use one of those. I never do. Maybe I should use them more often. And climb up banana trees. Cause I hear they're nice.
And one day, I'd like to be insane,
but I think I already am,
and it may be too late to change.
There's another fragment for Liquid if he even reads this, or knows it's here. I doubt he cares. Although I'm sure he appreciates the associated link to Evanthal. Wonder how E feels about it. Wonder if I care.
No I don't. I don't care whether I care or not. It just isn't that important.
I wish Satan would take a vacation from hell and come visit me. I need to talk to him about the possibility of just working out this whole thing where stuff sucks, and maybe he's got an idea why. Not with me specifically, but with everything else.
Not that I expect him to do anything about it. Anymore than you should expect me to do anything about it. But it'd be nice to know, don't cha think?
Or maybe I should get good and drunk, if it were possible to do so. But I don't really want to be drunk. I don't think it'd be all that fun. Although, you know what would be nice. Tripping on acid. Maybe. Or maybe I should beat someone to death.
Not that it'd be any fun, or any less boring, but at least if someone asks me, "What have you done with your life?" And I can say, "I beat someone to death. Why, what have you done?"
Not that it matters, cause the only people who are paying attention to what I'm saying aren't me. So maybe, just maybe, if I ever even thought about any single word that were coming out of my mouth, it would stop making so much sense, and then you could truly understand why I haven't reached enlightenment yet.
Cause I haven't. Not that I haven't tried, I just don't know what I'm supposed to be. I suppose I could go on from here, but why? Why not sit on my ass? Sitting on my ass has, oddly enough, carried me pretty far through life. Unfortunately, all life's paths look equally bad from here. I don't want to do any of them. I'd like to just step outside of time...wait, no, maybe that would be bad. Cause then I don't know if I'd ever get to the end. But boy would I get to sleep a lot.
Did I mention that these phone sex commercials are annoying. I mean, the girls are attractive and all, but who wants to call someone on the phone just for sex. And the singing in these commericals. I'd honestly rather listen to a boy band. ::screeching:: "Pick UP the PHHHHHHOOOOoooonnnNNNNNEeeEEeeE!!" Whose idea was this?
And why am I talking about it?
Remember, way back near the beginning of this, and somewhere near the middle, and basically every chance I could get, when I mentioned I was bored? And lazy. I know I've mentioned it before, but I feel the need to reiterate. Cause it's a very important facet of my personality.
Not that I'm not a hard worker. Because I am. A very hard worker. Which is why I so rarely work, cause I have this damned work ethic. But as long as I'm not working, I don't have to worry about it.
I should be so lucky. Eventually I'm going to have to work, cause that's where money comes from, and they don't let you have stuff if you don't have money, the bastards.
I should already have a writing career, but I've been too lazy for that, too. I have to change things, I have to change everything. It's like no one even thinks I know what I'm saying anymore. No, wait, everyone thinks I know what I'm saying, but I don't even know what I'm saying, so I have no way of knowing what's going on.
In fact, I think I missed that entire paragraph. Oh well, it probably wasn't important. Everything else I say is.
The most important thing to remember is that there's something important to remember.
recent...
2000-09-21 - Today's randomness level is...
2000-09-19 - M-u-s-t S-l-e-e-p
2000-09-18 - A bunch of stuff I need to say.
2000-09-17 - So I'm not hyper.
2000-09-17 - The One Where it Turns Out I'm a Lot Cooler than You Thought.
Step Back ---/// Take a Step ///--- End of the Path