I am a very selfish person. I say this not to contradict the views many of you might have that I'm a nice guy. I am, a very nice guy. This does not make me any less selfish. I am nice not because I want to help people, or because I at all care about people. I am nice purely because I wish to be, and no other reason.

The problem with being both selfish and generous is that they do produce somewhat contradictory sentiments. All in all though, if you pay attention, you'll notice that I'm nice only to individuals, to people. Toward the general populace I have no good feeling at all.

True, online I am eloquent and wordy. I run on, and on and on. That is my writing voice, and it is every bit of me. However, in person, I am often quiet and withdrawn. Well, quiet anyway. I always try to be in the middle of things, but I'm so innocuous that I seem withdrawn. And my general hatred of people in general often prevents me from associating much with others.

At work I am quiet and everyone thinks I'm incredibly nice. Which, again, is true, just not to any of them. Well, maybe one or two who don't suck horribly.

I couldn't help laughing at them though as they talked about POWs being tortured. Some of them were offended and disgusted, and I just laughed. I mean, just form the little I heard, the Iraqi truly suck at torture. I am an artist, and torture is an art. I am a scientist, and torture is a science. Like most things that involve the mind, it is a mixture of art & science, and like any other, it is one I am good at.

It doesn't really matter. They'll never know that I'm daydreamed about spending a few years tearing some of them apart, piece by piece, inside and out. All the little things you can do to a person. And all the big things as well. It saddens me and disappoints me, that no one sees the value in a thing of beauty, no matter how evil it might be. To view something upon a single axis and ignore the other dimensions of that thing, that is a travesty.

What I am trying to say is, there is a difference between Wrong and Evil. There is a difference between Evil and Bad. And there is a difference between Bad and Wrong. People try to use the three interchangeably, and that is Wrong, and it is also Bad.

Which is just a meaningless thought of mine. Although it's similar to one of my greatest pet peeves.

But that's for another entry. For now, just know that the basis of the world we live in is enlightened self interest. That the truly enlightened help others more often than the truly generous, because the truly enlightened know that they will get more out of it, while the truly generous expect nothing in return. It's not Fair, it's not Right, and it isn't particularly Good, but it is most certainly Reasonable.

And that's if for this segment of, "Chris Proves that NO two words have the same meaning."

recent...
2003-04-04 - And, we're hungry.
2003-03-31 - Injury to insult.
2003-03-28 - WARNING. WARNING.
2003-03-10 - The dreams return.
2003-02-07 - Ura-Zelda