"Old sayings handbasket"
"company secreataries institute"
That last one was at rediff search, not google, which means my diary has somehow ended up on yet another search engine. Look at me say whee.
In other news, the awards for most referrals goes to Noritha.
Fuck, I've been thinking weird thoughts all day. Earlier I couldn't get Ala'ana out of my head, then I thought of Serra and Damien, and then I wrote that thing up there. Now I'm listening to They Might Be Giants, and it's not helping. Sometimes I think I listen to music to drown out my thoughts, which would kinda suck if it's true, cause it doesn't work at all.
If you really must know, Ala'ana is one of the incarnations of my Firstborn, my eldest daughter. Her and Kitten, and Katherine, and Adrienne and Aslana. Those are the ones I remember in general, athough there are many more. Infinite possibilities I guess.
For a 22 year old man, I spend way, way, way too much time thinking about my children.
If I ever meet anyone named Ala'ana, I'm gonna kill her parents, Just remember that before you go stealing my ideas.
"This is who we are. This is what we were created for."
"No, this is what we were made for. We were normal, we could have led normal lives...,"
"We were never normal."
"No...I suppose we weren't."
The weirdest thing happened today in Church. I didn't feel like killing a single person. Well, okay, one person, but he always gets on my nerves. I didn't have the 'urge to cut a few of these fuckers heads off' thing I ususally get. It's like part of me is coming alive, and part of me is dying, and somehow that seems horribly, horribly wrong. It worries me...badly. Whatever happened to dichotomy?
I don't like Black History Month. It's not specifically anything I have against the concept so much as I think black people take it waaaaaaaaay too seriously. I'm not kidding. It's as if somehow our mothers believe the constant badgering they did of us when we were children, telling us all about the famous and successful black people of our past didn't quite take, so they make sure they drive it in a little harder.
And frankly, I hate the way it's done. The concept is just all wrong. I have nothing against learning about black history, but why is Black History Month directed specifically at black people. I assure you, if there's anyone who doesn't need to know any more about Black History, it's black people. Black History Month should be aimed equally at all people.
See, I don't admit to being black any more than I admit to being human. Oh sure, my skin is black, and physiologically, I share a number of common traits with your basic homo sapiens, but the less I'm associated with you people, the better I feel. I'd rather be mistaken for a cat than a human. But not a dog or a horse or a bear, cause they're not really much better than humans (although you can ride horses, and it doesn't work nearly so well with humans).
Anyway, like I said, I think the whole concept is all wrong. Why is there a Black History Month? There's no Hispanic History Month. There's no Japanese or Korean or Laosian History Month. Fuck, there isn't even a Native American History Month, and, I don't know, I think that one's kinda important. I don't think we should get rid of Black History Month, I just think we should alter our focus. Work towards our strengths. The idea is to point out that American History is composed of the history of all these peoples. There isn't a country anywhere in this world that did not supply a portion of the population of our nation. Black History Month should be about showing everyone that Black History is part of their history, whether they have African blood in them or not. If we're going to do something as ridiculous as celebrating our history, we might as well do it right.
Of course, I'm still gonna hate Black History Month. I've always hated history. I was so pissed off when I had to take American History in college, I mean, I took it in High School, I know enough about history, I'm not a history kind of person, I really don't care what went before, and don't give me that 'doomed to repeat it' crap, cause even with normal people that's a stretch. And anyway, knowing history has never, ever, stopped someone from making the same mistakes their predecessors made. Maybe it's because people are stupid, or, more likely, some situations limit your choices pretty much, so what exactly were they going to do?
And while we're on the subject of history, techinically speaking, the white man didn't steal the land from the Native Americans, at least, not in North America (what the Spanish did in South America was distinctly different, but they were dealing with Empires, and therefore, by International 'My Dick is Bigger than Your Dick' Law, what they did was perfectly justified) anyway. According to most Native American beliefs, you cannot own land. According to most European beliefs, you could. How can you possibly steal something from someone if they don't own it? And then, some of these wonderful Native peoples sold land to the white man. How did they do this when no one could own land? And whose fault is it that they assumed that once you sold the land to them you would go away and leave them alone on their land. And you complain that you were cheated, that your land was bought from you for a few measly beads and such, but who exactly was cheating who, again?
This is not to say what the English, Dutch, French and whoever else did was right, but we're just so damn good in this country at blaming others for everything that we've infected the natives. 90% of the time, when something goes wrong, it's not 'his fault' or 'her fault', I'll guarantee you everyone had a hand in fucking it up. This politically correct crap is getting on my nerves. Just fucking tell the truth. The Indians were like, "Hey, they think they can own land. Maybe if we sell it to them we can get some of those nifty beads and crap they have." And the European invaders were like, "All they want is beads. Fucking cool. We'll give 'em some beads, and move 'em out, and if they get pissed, well hell, they don't have guns or cannons or anything, we can just fucking blow their asses to fuck. We can even get our fuckin' beads back. That's a jolly good deal, mate, we'll do it!"
You all fucked up. Now that you know, why don't you try to fucking get along instead of blaming each other for the mistakes of your ancestors.
It doesn't matter, anyway. We're never gonna get anywhere until we realize we've just got this one little planet between us, and if we want to get off this rock before our little baby sun goes all nova on our asses we're gonna have to work together.
There was a sound, like steel sliding against leather. Oh, of course, it was steel sliding against leather. He was dead, he knew it, he just wasn't fast enough. But he was damned if he wasn't gonna get something out of all this.
Let's see, anything else I wanted to bitch about? None of you have sucked particularly hard in the recent present or anything? Really? Cause I have. Has anyone else noticed the quality of my entries in February has been way, way, way down from all that went before? I noticed because between midnight and about six a.m. Saturday I went through every single one of my diary entries, correcting mistakes, and compiling lists of my best entries, some of my defining moments and all those entries where I just sort of ran on and on and on with no real subject or meaning, and I kinda kept talking, and I think I was probably way, way sleep deprived for most of them, or so damned bored out of my mind that I was strongly considering hitting myself in the toe with a hammer just cause it'd be something that hadn't hapened yet. Anyway, I compiled the lists, and put links to all of them off to the left side, so if you ever feel like reliving my past (what is wrong with you?), or you're here for the first time, well, you can figure it out. I'm getting some orange juice.
recent...
2001-02-26 - Fuck history.
2001-02-24 - It's all about continuity.
2001-02-23 - The one where I talk.
2001-02-23 - I was right.
2001-02-21 - Heh
Step Back ---/// Take a Step ///--- End of the Path